Been a while.. how’s it going? I have been completely miserable and uninspired, and I have not been in the mood to ruin your day. Slushkitty! Guaranteed to depress you! Because, you know, it’s all about me and my suggestive and seductive mood-altering mind-control. Meow. I’ve been going through something so awful at work that I have spent the past four days clawing myself away from bars and liquor stores. I have been sober for 1.5 years and only twice could I have killed myself for a drink – suffering such crushing emotional despair that numbing myself, even knowing the consequences, seemed the most humane option. I live a straight 15-minute shot up West Broadway, which shall now be referred to as “Booze Boulevard”. During the first two attacks, I called every friend in the program until I got a hold of a live one – ha! I just remembered, I actually got a hold of my BFF Celery and told her I wanted to drink so badly I was homicidal and these Southie skanks better watch their fucking manners or they’ll have hell to pay, to which she lovingly and abrasively, like only a normal drinker can, screamed, “What the hell is wrong with you?! After all this time?!”. Anyway, sweet Celery stayed on the phone with me as I zig-zagged my way, crossing the street at almost every corner so I wouldn’t have to walk past a bar or a liquor store, until I made it home sweet home. This Friday, you betcha I zig-zagged up Booze Blvd. alrighty, but counterclockwise. I walked slooooooowly by every bar, surveying the scenes, asking myself logical questions – I wonder if they have cocaine? It’s been 1.5 years – that’s sort of like “never”, as in “never come back here again!” In my defense, .. I have no defense. But they probably don’t remember me anyway… right? I walked past the liquor stores remembering that they deliver! I don’t have to decide right now! I didn’t drink. Anyway, I think these past few weeks have been the worst few weeks of my sobriety – drinking crossed/bulldozed by mind starting on Friday and stopped… today maybe? I am not going to drink today. I’ll be fine. My darling angel Bambie is celebrating two years tomorrow and asked me to present her with her medallion on Friday. I am so delighted and honored and excited! I am so so happy for you, Bambie! I need my eyes to be as bright as yours. If I can’t muster the love for myself to stay sober, I can certainly love you most to stay sober. You dig, kittycat?