A Quick Stroll Up Booze Boulevard

Hi!

Been a while.. how’s it going? I have been completely miserable and uninspired, and I have not been in the mood to ruin your day. Slushkitty! Guaranteed to depress you! Because, you know, it’s all about me and my suggestive and seductive mood-altering mind-control. Meow. I’ve been going through something so awful at work that I have spent the past four days clawing myself away from bars and liquor stores. I have been sober for 1.5 years and only twice could I have killed myself for a drink – suffering such crushing emotional despair that numbing myself, even knowing the consequences, seemed the most humane option. I live a straight 15-minute shot up West Broadway, which shall now be referred to as “Booze Boulevard”. During the first two attacks, I called every friend in the program until I got a hold of a live one – ha! I just remembered, I actually got a hold of my BFF Celery and told her I wanted to drink so badly I was homicidal and these Southie skanks better watch their fucking manners or they’ll have hell to pay, to which she lovingly and abrasively, like only a normal drinker can, screamed, “What the hell is wrong with you?! After all this time?!”. Anyway, sweet Celery stayed on the phone with me as I zig-zagged my way, crossing the street at almost every corner so I wouldn’t have to walk past a bar or a liquor store, until I made it home sweet home. This Friday, you betcha I zig-zagged up Booze Blvd. alrighty, but counterclockwise. I walked slooooooowly by every bar, surveying the scenes, asking myself logical questions – I wonder if they have cocaine? It’s been 1.5 years – that’s sort of like “never”, as in “never come back here again!” In my defense, .. I have no defense. But they probably don’t remember me anyway… right? I walked past the liquor stores remembering that they deliver! I don’t have to decide right now! I didn’t drink. Anyway, I think these past few weeks have been the worst few weeks of my sobriety – drinking crossed/bulldozed by mind starting on Friday and stopped… today maybe? I am not going to drink today. I’ll be fine. My darling angel Bambie is celebrating two years tomorrow and asked me to present her with her medallion on Friday. I am so delighted and honored and excited! I am so so happy for you, Bambie! I need my eyes to be as bright as yours. If I can’t muster the love for myself to stay sober, I can certainly love you most to stay sober. You dig, kittycat?

xoxox

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5 responses

  1. Sweet kitty slush!

    Was gonna try real hard to comment just once on one of your posts without using an exclamation point. Ha! You evoke in me such strong emotions with your words, I’m left with nothing BUT exclamations. Like I l ove you! And, you’re my hero! Also, I want to help! (Like give you all kinds of suggestions couched as the REAL right course of action you should take!)

    At the very least call me when it’s time and I’ll help to go cut a bitch!

    Mostly I feel a weekend getaway is just around the corner for us.

    Marry me, and all my love,

    Nay

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