A Warm Welcome to New Employee Slushkitty!

Hello, brilliant brilliant friends!

Thank you for playing Mad Libs: “A Warm Welcome to New Employee Slushkitty!” Here are your <adjective> masterpieces! Enjoy!

xoxo

 

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Dear Members:

We are fluffy and pleased to announce the new addition to our Wonglood Klondike Club family, Slushkitty. Slushkitty has accepted our rotund offer of employment in the position of Prison Greeter. She will be reporting to Sylvan and is sloppy about tiptoeing in her new role.

She has been unexpectedly sought out by Berkshire Hathaway, one of the largest traders of geese worldwide, and recognized in a Juggs article praising her for her quaint curiosity and vision. Her ground-breaking work in washing and earning has earned her the erratic reputation as one of the hottest nuns in the industry.

Prior to joining Wonglood Klondike Club, Slushkitty pierced as a long team leader, spearheading tender initiatives such as Snake Appreciation Day, weekly company oiled wrestling matches, and installing free Pop Rocks vending machines in the employee parlor.

One of the world’s top diligent talents, Slushkitty approaches each new challenge with her eager flair for risk-taking, courageous problem-solving, and herpes-building. She has developed an immense interest in and offers purring approaches to the responsibilities of Prison Greeter and is looking forward to putting them into action at Wonglood Klondike Club.

Please join me in welcoming Slushkitty to our fleet family and help to make her feel at home in her new job. We are rarely excited to have her on board, and look forward to sliding with her and sharing her muffled enthusiasm!

She starts on Monday and her office is located in Little Rock, Arkansas.

 

Sincerely,

Management

 

/NayNay

 

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Dear Members:

We are sporadic and pleased to announce the new addition to our Wonglood Puppy Club family, Slushkitty. Slushkitty has accepted our deft offer of employment in the position of Pony Greeter. She will be reporting to Cara DeVito and is calm about sporting in her new role.

She has been brightly sought out by Volkswagen, one of the largest traders of tangerines worldwide, and recognized in a Miami Herald article praising her for her brown curiosity and vision. Her ground-breaking work in dancing and prancing has earned her the purple reputation as one of the hottest dining chairs in the industry.

Prior to joining Wonglood Puppy Club, Slushkitty wasted as a burnt team leader, spearheading itchy initiatives such as Banana Appreciation Day, weekly company ice dancing, and installing free haggis vending machines in the employee conservatory.

One of the world’s top crisp talents, Slushkitty approaches each new challenge with her dark flair for risk-taking, angry problem-solving, and table fan building. She has developed a slimy interest in and sticky approaches to the responsibilities of Pony Greeter and is looking forward to putting them into action at Wonglood Puppy Club.

Please join me in welcoming Slushkitty to our hard family and help to make her feel at home in her new job. We are sloppily excited to have her on board, and look forward to drinking with her and sharing her rough enthusiasm!

She starts on Monday and her office is located in Adcare Quincy.

 

Sincerely,

Management

 

/Heaven

 

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Dear Members:

We are forlorn and pleased to announce the new addition to our Wonglood Fiction Club family, Slushkitty. Slushkitty has accepted our envious offer of employment in the position of Methane Greeter. She will be reporting to Timothy Leary and is raspy about inheriting in her new role.

She has been gleefully sought out by Rent-a-Chicken ( http://mynorth.com/2010/05/kids-up-north-rent-a-chicken-in-traverse-city-makes-urban-farming-childs-play/ ), one of the largest traders of elves worldwide, and recognized in a PRO Monthly (Portable Restroom Operator http://www.promonthly.com/ezine/2014/05 ) article praising her for her torpid curiosity and vision. Her ground-breaking work in accessorizing and flimflamming has earned her the brusque reputation as one of the hottest neuroses in the industry.

Prior to joining Wonglood Fiction Club, Slushkitty radiated as a boiling team leader, spearheading lurid initiatives such as Livestock Appreciation Day, weekly company clay shooting matches, and installing free pork rind and JOLT Cola vending machines in the employee waiting room.

One of the world’s top watery talents, Slushkitty approaches each new challenge with her immense flair for risk-taking, shrill problem-solving, and symmetry building. She has developed a hollow interest in and robust approaches to the responsibilities of Methane Greeter and is looking forward to putting them into action at Wonglood Fiction Club.

Please join me in welcoming Slushkitty to our dizzy family and help make her feel at home in her new job. We are solemnly excited to have her on board, and look forward to sobbing with her and sharing her thundering enthusiasm!

She starts on Monday and her office is located in Istanbul.

 

Sincerely,

Management

 

/Boing! Boing!

 

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Dear Members:

We are attentive and pleased to announce the new addition to our Wonglood Parcel Club family, Slushkitty. Slushkitty has accepted our cheerful offer of employment in the position of Chanteuse Greeter. She will be reporting to Barack Obama and is lilac about leading in her new role.

She has been suddenly sought out by Google, one of the largest traders of websites worldwide, and recognized in a Highlights for Children article praising her for her gorgeous curiosity and vision. Her ground-breaking work in analizing and quantifying has earned her the fierce reputation as one of the hottest cats in the industry.

Prior to joining Wonglood Puppy Club, Slushkitty amortized as a comfy team leader, spearheading cozy initiatives such as Computer Appreciation Day, weekly company curling games, and installing free Thanksgiving Dinner with all the Fixins’ vending machines in the employee solarium.

One of the world’s top safe talents, Slushkitty approaches each new challenge with her fuzzy flair for risk-taking, robust problem-solving, and coffee mug building. She has developed a delicious interest in and warm approaches to the responsibilities of Chanteuse Greeter and is looking forward to putting them into action at Wonglood Parcel Club.

Please join me in welcoming Slushkitty to our smart family and help make her feel at home in her new job. We are candidly excited to have her on board, and look forward to promoting with her and sharing her perfect enthusiasm!

She starts on Monday and her office is located in San Francisco.

 

Sincerely,

Management

 

/Munsel Störkel, Sr.

 

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Dear Members:

We are haughty and pleased to announce the new addition to our Wonglood Salamander Club family, Slushkitty. Slushkitty has accepted our intense offer of employment in the position of Assistant Supreme Court Justice Greeter. She will be reporting to Sally Fields and is tenuous about exhausting in her new role.

She has been deftly sought out by Applebee’s, one of the largest traders of cities worldwide, and recognized in a Cat Fancy article praising her for her sordid curiosity and vision. Her ground-breaking work in pampering and punishing has earned her the smug reputation as one of the hottest flagpoles in the industry.

Prior to joining Wonglood Salamander Club, Slushkitty forgot as a passive-aggressive team leader, spearheading oblivious initiatives such as Montana Appreciation Day, weekly company fly-fishing, and installing free Panko-crusted talapia paired with a seasonal mango chutney vending machines in the employee boiler room.

One of the world’s top squalid talents, Slushkitty approaches each new challenge with her magnanimous flair for risk-taking, strident problem-solving, and starfish-building. She has developed an antique interest in and offers celebrated approaches to the responsibilities of Assistant Supreme Court Justice Greeter and is looking forward to putting them into action at Wonglood Salamander Club.

Please join me in welcoming Slushkitty to our self-fulfilling family and help to make her feel at home in her new job. We are blatantly excited to have her on board, and look forward to drying with her and sharing her dusty enthusiasm!

She starts on Monday and her office is located at Bird Hospital, Oakley, California.

 

Sincerely,

Management

 

/He Writes “Shit” and “Fuck” on Bathroom Walls

 

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Dear Members:

We are plucky and pleased to announce the new addition to our Wonglood Shaft Club family, Slushkitty. Slushkitty has accepted our jaunty offer of employment in the position of Cactus Greeter. She will be reporting to a Dominican and is stupid about scissoring in her new role.

She has been barely sought out by The Trump Organization, one of the largest traders of jerks worldwide, and recognized in a Bitch Magazine article praising her for her fiery curiosity and vision. Her ground-breaking work in jogging and waxing has earned her the foggy reputation as one of the hottest crawdads in the industry.

Prior to joining Wonglood Shaft Club, Slushkitty smashed as a silver team leader, spearheading scummy initiatives such as Puppy Appreciation Day, weekly company curling games, and installing free JOLT Cola vending machines in the employee dungeon.

One of the world’s top light talents, Slushkitty approaches each new challenge with her striped flair for risk-taking, fluffy problem-solving, and talon-building. She has developed a circular interest in and offers deep approaches to the responsibilities of Cactus Greeter and is looking forward to putting them into action at Wonglood Shaft Club.

Please join me in welcoming Slushkitty to our wooden family and help to make her feel at home in her new job. We are strenuously excited to have her on board, and look forward to popping with her and sharing her crisp enthusiasm!

She starts on Monday and her office is located under a bridge.

 

Sincerely,

Management

 

/Gettin’ Jiggy

 

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3 responses

  1. How about ‘Greeter/Magazine Girl’ @the Rarewood Institute for the Study of Erectile Under-Performance (aka ‘RISEUP’)?

    Sure, having a guy greeter would not be as embarassing. But it’s nowhere near being welcomed in by some saucy wench with curls, a hot skirt, latex gloves and a stack of porn who introduces herself as “Slushhhkittttyyyy” 😉

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