Thank you much for playing Mad Libs and helping me apply for jobs! 

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Dear Mr./Ms. LastName,

Your position for Dutchess sounds icky and exactly what I am looking for! I have 408.6 years experience in dwarves with a primary focus on ganache management. I’ve been fortunate to have the experience of pegging with winsome customers to meet their shifty needs. The consumers’ serpentine satisfaction ensures our continued and effervescent success. I always eerily demonstrate the “Oi!” attitude to make that happen. I’m spiffy for the opportunity to scorch with your chartreuse team that makes it sordid to come to work every day with haughty ideas!

I trust you’ll bang in my bone-dry resume that I have the bidness that you need to make your crack emasculate!

Peace out.

Slushkitty

/Gettin’ Jiggy

Dear Mr./Ms. LastName,

Your position for Executive in Charge of All that is Holy sounds cute and exactly what I am looking for! I have 42 years experience in cats with a primary focus on fuzz management. I’ve been fortunate to have the experience of purring with fabulous customers to meet their smart needs. The consumers’ phoenix-like satisfaction ensures our continued and self-actualized success. I always creatively demonstrate the “Zowie!” attitude to make that happen. I’m devoted for the opportunity to maximize with your complementary team that makes it complimentary to come to work every day with beautiful ideas!

I trust you’ll energize in my lovable resume that I have the go-getter that you need to make your fashionista await!

Forever yours,

Slushkitty

/Munsel Störkel, Sr.

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Dear Mr./Ms. LastName,

Your position for Inside/Outside Retail Sales Managsisstant sounds lovely and exactly what I am looking for! I have 14 years experience in boxes with a primary focus on key management. I’ve been fortunate to have the experience of sobbing with alienated customers to meet their determined needs. The consumers’ muffled satisfaction ensures our continued and petite success. I always defiantly demonstrate the “Outstanding!” attitude to make that happen. I’m flawless for the opportunity to escape with your gentle team that makes it meaty to come to work every day with lavish ideas!

I trust you’ll run in my practical resume that I have the village that you need to make your women smear!

Sincerely,

Slushkitty

/NayNay

Hi!

It’s been three months since I posted, so I thought I’d pop in and say hello. Hello!

The reason I haven’t posted lately is because I have been diligently writing my 4^th Step all summer. This shit is epic! I write every day until I am about to have a seizure and then call it a day. This strategy has never been recommended by anyone. Ever. But moderation and self-control never appealed to my delicate sensibilities, so why start now, right? Lily believes the hardest part is over and I choose to believe her. So now I can start looking for a job in earnest without the crazy emotional distraction of writing my life story. I have been blessed with some new peace in my soul, too!

As well as soul searching, I actually have done some job searching in these past few months. I applied for a handful of jobs, and spent a reasonable amount of time writing cover letters that attempt to make me stand out from the herd of unemployed chumps seeking the same position. When I send out my resume and intriguing cover letter, one of three things happens: 1- it floats out into the cosmos and I don’t get any sort of acknowledgement that anyone ever received it. 2 – I get an auto-reply that says they’re delighted I’m interested in working for their company, and if they’re interested, they’ll call me, don’t call them. Or 3 – the most infuriating – I get an auto-reply that says they’ve found someone who is a better fit for the job. How can this be? No human could possibly review my resume and ixnay me that fast. I conclude a very narrow-minded computer does the ixnaying. Here is where I need your help!

This narrow-minded computer is scanning resumes for key words and spitting out the ones that don’t match some percentage of their mystery criteria. I love words. I’m good at werds! Plus I literally copy chunks of werds from their job description and paste them appropriately in my resume, but alas, I inevitably get bupkis in return. I’m at a loss. So I’d like to ask for your help and creativity! Want to play a little Resume Mad Libs? I do! If you want to play – and I hope you do! – please fill in the blanks below and I’ll insert them to my cover letter and post them on Slushkitty…it’ll be fun!

Job Title –

Adjective –

A number  –

Plural Noun –

Noun –

verb ending in -ing –

Adjective –

Adjective –

Adverb –

Exclamation –

Adjective –

Verb –

Adjective –

Adjective –

Adjective –

Verb –

Adjective –

Noun –

Noun –

Verb –

Salutation –

Please post your words in the comments section here or email them to me at Cara02127@rocketmail.com *

Xoxox

SK4eva