Life in Hi-Tech


I found a funny (transcribed) conversation I had with a customer last summer. It goes a little something like this….

him: do you sell cable modems?

me: yes.

him: can you tell me information?

me: sure. what information would you like?

him: information about the cable modem.

me: product information? or are you looking to purchase one?

him: yes.

me: what would you like to know?

him: what cable modems do you have?

me: what do you mean?

him: what is the price?

me: we don’t sell them direct. We sell them through retailers and online.

him: what is the price?

me: I can’t give you an exact price since we don’t sell them to end-users. Are you at a computer? All the prices are listed.

him: I want you to tell me.

me: I can’t give you an exact price. I can give you a range.

him: what is the price?

me: the range is about $120-$150.

him: what is 120?

me: what do you mean?

him: you said 120. What is this?

me: it’s a price.

him: is it the speed?

me: it’s a price.

him: tell me about dial-up modems. what do you have?

me: what are you looking for?

him: tell me about them.




9 responses

  1. Life in non-native-English-speaker-editing:

    Indian Yoga Book says “one who can stop one’s breath automatically can attain or accomplish anything. You had better practice stopping your breath automatically several times everyday”. If you are an American, you can rent a house at your best power-spot place and challenge stopping your breath automatically at your peril when you are fired or change your job. I think you can clean up your life and appreciate my kindness. I have challenged it 5 times for 20 years.

    I think constricting anus 100 times and denting navel 100 times in succession everyday is effective to good-bye depression and take back youth. You can do so at a boring meeting or in a subway. I have know 70-year-old man who has practiced it for 20 years. As a result, he has good complexion and has grown 20 years younger. His eyes sparkle. He is full of vigor, happiness and joy. He has neither complained nor born a grudge under any circumstance. Furthermore, he can make * * three times in succession without drawing out.
    In addition, he also can have burned a strong beautiful fire within his abdomen. It can burn out the dirty stickiness of his body, release his immaterial fiber or third attention which has been confined to his stickiness. Then, he can shoot out his immaterial fiber or third attention to an object, concentrate on it and attain happy lucky feeling through the success of concentration.
    If you don’t know that concentration can give you peculiar pleasure, your life looks like a hell.

    From the masterpiece, “How to Good-bye Depression: If you constrict anus 100 times everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way?” by Hiroyuki Nishigaki. You can pick it up on Amazon if it speaks to you.

    • Not only does it speak to me, I am strangely amorous all of a sudden. I want to know more of this “denting navel” and this “make ** three times in succession” business. What is ** ? Can I pick that up on Amazon, too? I think I can clean up my life and the life of my anus. God, you’re good.

  2. Pingback: Life in Hi-Tech | Slushkitty Lives! - Mymsn5 Today

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